he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
