dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
