the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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