I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
