Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
