And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I am mentally ready for anal.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
