UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize