come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
