No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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