we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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