clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
