We should be called the Road Head Warriors
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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