His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
someone owes me an orgasm
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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