just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
