Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude i'm inner monologue high
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
