pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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