Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
is wine microwaveable?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize