By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
