we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
