yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
