so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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