Just cropdusted the office
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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