this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
