Sry I called you an 8
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize
