my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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