You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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