My Higher Power is John Stamos
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
