i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
His nipple licking is glorious
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