He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
should my penis look like a turkey
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
