if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
