No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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