yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
