So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
