i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
