maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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