i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
