She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I love you. Go after that dick
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
