I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
