he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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