Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
