he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
