Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
