i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
