You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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