You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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