I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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