Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
