we have pet lesbian snakes
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
