butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
