I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
