Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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