Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
