Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
