I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
