I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
