Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
