on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I skipped work to stalk him.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
