Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
