Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
