dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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