I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
