Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
