Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize