New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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