Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
