Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
