I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
