remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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