She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
