i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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