Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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