I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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