But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
