the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
