Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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