Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
