Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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