Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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