the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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