I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
