my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
