I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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