Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
