is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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