i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
